saturday, february 10

friday, february 9

The Beatles on RollingStone.com

he Beatles "1" CD dropped to number 4 this week on the Billboard Charts, but it's amazing how popular these songs have been after all these years.

There's a nice feature on the RollingStone.com site that covers some history behind each of the 27 number one hits. For instance, I didn't know that the song "Love Me Do" was sort of a testing ground for drummers! The drummer performing on the version that became a number one hit was NOT Ringo, but a session drummer named Andy White! Ringo played drums on a version of the song that had airplay in the UK and hit the TOP 40, but didn't get to number one. Pete Best played on a third version, but that one wasn't released and he was subsequently fired.

At the RollingStone.com site you can also VOTE for your fave Beatles song out of the 27 number one hits. Interesting, the song with the highest ranking was Hey Jude.

thursday, february 8

wednesday, february 7

tuesday, february 6

is all not bliss?

"A healthy mind is a mind through which energy flows freely. Free-flowing energy gets us high."
---Das Energi

his morning I had a sudden surge of elation. I don't really know what came over me. Maybe a series of little things, but I definitely had this surge of utter joy, that life is beautiful and so full of meaning.

This joy was so overwhelming that I sort of burst into tears. I'd been a little depressed lately and so the sudden change was quite welcome. Well, perhaps I'm being just a bit bi-polar?

Well, at my physical exam last week I asked my doctor if I was manic-depressive. And she gave me this test where I had to answer a whole page of questions. She didn't think I had that problem, but we talked about me being the highly creative jazz musician, and usually people who are artistic, creative and perfectionists are usually like that... maybe because of a certain sensitivity to things, but she was pretty sure I wasn't manic-depressive or bi-polar.

sensory   mood: total elation   music: pat metheny   cuisine: filipino

Maybe I am... for I have moments of profound elation and then moments of deep sadness. Maybe I AM bi-polar and need to get this checked out. But having sudden moments of self-realization and cosmic happiness can't necessarily be diagnosed simply as a condition, can it? And as for depression, what is that, really?

A few years ago at Croce's I had that experience where I played this drum solo in front of a packed house and suddenly the room and the conditions were "right". The crowd loved me and I was definitely in "the zone". After my solo people gave me a standing ovation, my fellow musicians were all looking at me in astonishment. Even I myself didn't KNOW what I DID! After the gig, driving home at 2:30am in the morning I broke down in tears, not from sadness but from sheer elation, that a few hours ago the things in my life had converged into this total positive experience... I really felt the universal love then. If I don't feel that moment again that's okay. Maybe to have felt it once in a lifetime is fine. It was a fine, shining moment for me, and I can always look back at that moment and say to myself that I was truly victorious, that it is okay if I can't get to that moment again because I was "there".

Life is full of ups and downs. It's the natural ebb and flow of the universe. If things remained constant it would be just boring. The whole world is in a constant state of "flux". The only thing permanent is change, and I suppose the more we understand this the easier life will be for us. Suddenly, the phrase "go with the flow" brings on new meaning and sudden realization.

I was at a Starbucks a few hours ago. It was crowded. There was a proud grandmother with her grandchild, two businessmen talking computer talk, mothers walking in with their children, college students in a corner sipping lattes and studying, and the Starbucks employees joking with one another... it seemed all was already in a state of perfection. All is bliss.

thinking we really understand it all

"A weed is no more than a flower in disguise."
---James Lowell

was at a local office supply store buying some tax forms and a new personal planner. One of the things I was in need of doing was taking care of my taxes. And I bought the personal planner to help me stay organized in the new year.

When I final got to the checkout counter I quickly realized the checkout girl was looking rather cross at me. Oh, I know I could be wrong sometimes, but I think we all KNOW when a person definitely has something on us. We might not know exactly what that something is, but we quickly begin to feel the unacceptance. At least I can. Of course, the big clue is when you say hello and smile, then find out your gestures were not reciprocated in a positive way.

Sadly enough, first impressions are what we all use to judge people, to assess, to accept or reject.

sensory  mood: a bit saddened  music: more j.s. bach  cuisine: filipino

Oh, I could tell this lady had the evil eye on me. I don't know what for, but I just kept smiling and "slowly" writing my check for her. And I just pretended that I was not disturbed by her apparent need to show THE hatred. I wasn't about to give in, yet at the same time I was very disappointed in her actions.

I walked away rather saddened by the whole incident. Not really on a personal level. I know I can't be liked by everyone I meet in life. I just felt that the human race had lost a small battle back at that checkout counter.

And perhaps I'm being way too idealistic sometimes and it gets the better of me. Perhaps I read too many philosphy books that emphasize the brotherhood of mankind, the triumph of the spirit, when in reality there is failure as well as triumph all around us.

Well, when something like this makes me feel that brotherhood of man is lost, that the universal love is absent... it's time to find a way to re-affirm the truth about the human race, that we are all creatures capable of expressing love.

John Lennon was right when he sang, "all you need is love". Without love what do you have?

monday, february 5

in a more meditative state

"Stop a moment, cease your work, and look around you."
---Thomas Carlyle

am posting the above quote one more time for myself. It sort of set the mood for me yesterday.

The family and I once again made the trek to Coronado to bask in the sun's rays on the shores near the Hotel Del Coronado.

It was a bright and sunny day yesterday, almost like a summer's day. Very warm and inviting. Lots of people had the same idea about taking advantage of the warm sun, so we definitely were not alone in wanting to soak up the sun's rays.

sensory mood: escapist music: j.s. bach cuisine: szechuan

My two sons enjoyed their time at the beach, playing in the waves and building sandcastles. I went into the water myself, but the water was still very cold and quickly reminded me that it was still February.

It was nice. I needed to get out. With all my little projects on the Web, and with my small business stuff I'd been doing on the Web as well, I needed some time off from the computer.

situations beyond our control

"Stop a moment, cease your work, and look around you."
---Thomas Carlyle

he days have been so busy for me... not enough hours in the day to get everything done.

I've registered a new domain name, and so I need to create a new website. I'm trying to look at the whole situation in a positive light. And starting fresh with a new look, a new webhost, and a new domain name.

sensory mood: dark, yet hopeful music: rachmaninoff cuisine: mexican

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. Just with day to day things... business, family, errands, and with just trying to learn as much as I can.

CGI programming has been my latest obsession, and PERL has been taking up a lot of my time recently.

But I've also been working out more, trying to get in better physical shape. And it shows. I'm very sore in the muscles and joints from the exertion. Trying not to overdo it but wanting to get a decent workout. My last physical exam scared me somewhat. And I want to be in better physical shape for the drumming and just being able to handle the stresses in my life.

Well, hopefully I'll have the new domain up and running some time this week. Jeez, it's so frustrating, waiting for the new domain to kick in. And I'm wondering what's up with the old domains?