friday, january 5

as we try to move on

A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.... ---Forest Witcraft

irst off, I want to say that I am so happy to hear the great news about Kaycee, and as if to symbolize that newfound spirit, her weblog has a new and refreshing design to it. This is definitely a positive note, something I personally had been praying for coming into the New Year.

mourning a few great people
A few days ago I was visiting Winnie's site and found out she had arrived from her lengthy trip to Asia (welcome back!). But it was through her site that I also found out about Grace's passing. I never knew her or her husband Brian... not in real life. But at that moment, the realization that someone I'd been reading about passed away quickly jolted me, and I was full of tears for Grace, and for Brian and their son, Matthew.

sensory mood: mournful music: windchimes cuisine: chicken adobo

Just yesterday, I went to the funeral of my Uncle Fidel. He was 77 years old and passed away on December 28th. He was my Dad's oldest brother. It was another sad day as I sat there during the funeral service and watched grandchildren crying for their grandfather, children crying for their father, and a kid brother crying for his older brother.

I was one of the pallbearers. We had to travel to Los Angeles for the funeral and so we didn't get back to San Diego until late in the evening.

And I think I mentioned this already, but our lead vocalist's mother had passed away on December 23rd, and so he had to fly to Chicago for the funeral. I told him he didn't have to perform the gig on December 30th, but he insisted, saying that he needed to do something that would take his mind off the grief, if not just for an evening. He dedicated a ballad to his Mother, and he sort of struggled through it, but he didn't break down. I admire him for doing that, for he performed the same day he arrived from Chicago.

trying to look past the sadness
Well, it seemed that I had been a witness to a lot of people's suffering these past few weeks. The priest at my uncle's funeral service mentioned that we shouldn't grieve and instead rejoice. And although we mourn for the loss of our loved ones, the priest reminded everyone that we would be joining our departed love ones eventually. The reality of this thought hits you square in the gut, however painful. I guess it's a lesson that we should all live life to the fullest, and enjoy each and every moment if possible.

I apologize for painting a pretty dismal picture for my first entry of 2001. But that's just what I'd been experiencing lately. I really DO look toward a brighter, more positive New Year. And I pray we all enjoy a lot of success. For me, the year 2000 had its peaks and valleys, maybe more valleys than in previous years, but here I am, still here, and the slate is wiped clean again. It's time to look forward to a successful year, and keep that positive outlook flowing and fresh. Let us rejoice!

sunday, december 31

taking the sobriety test

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. ---William James

ortunate is a word that I treasure immensely at this moment, for it was just a few hours ago that a police car had flashed its red and blue lights behind me, forcing me to pull over to the side of the street.

sensory feeling: very fortunate! video: buddy rich cuisine: southern

I was driving back to the Juke Joint to get my drums after walking several blocks in a dark section of the Gaslamp Quarter. I was very tired after an exciting four hour gig. And I did this drum solo at the end of the second set that literally got people screaming and cheering. Of course, I paid the price toward the end of the show, when I seriously ran out of steam.

Anyway, I guess I didn't notice the stop sign because I was in this dark section of downtown. And it was just my luck that a police car was right behind me at the time. As I pulled over, the glare of the police car's bright lights were in my side and rear view mirrors:

officer: Do you know why I stopped you?
me: Yes, officer. I just realized that I ran that stop sign back there.
officer: Can I see your driver's license please?

--long pause--

officer: Do you still live on Weatherwood Terrace?
me: Yes, officer.
officer: May I see your registration please, and your verification of car insurance?
me: Here it is.
officer: Y'know, your insurance expired back in August.
me: Officer, I assure you that I'm current. I just have my new cards at home somewhere.

-- another long pause--

officer: Have you been drinking any alcohol tonight?
me: No, officer. I just finished playing this gig, and I did a few drum solos, and earlier I just got back from Santa Barbara... I'm really exhausted right now.
officer: Okay, see my pen? I want you to follow the pen with your eyes, and don't turn your head.
me: No problem.

--he gives me the beginnings of a sobriety test--

officer: Okay, I'll be right back.

--He steps back to his police car, and I end up waiting like an eternity... with those glaring bright lights. People are walking by and peeking in. I'm feeling embarrassed at this point, and also scared that I'll get a ticket for running that stop sign. Nowadays those tickets are $200.00, maybe more... a very depressing thought.--

officer: Okay, I'm just going to give you a warning this time. But I want you to be careful out there!
me: Sure thing, officer! Thank you so much. And you have a Happy New Year!

I shook his hand. And he smiled, probably because I might've had this pathetic look on my face after I found out I was only going to get a warning. After he drove away, I just stood there for a moment to recollect my thoughts. I wanted to cry but I didn't. I was just tired, that's all. Realizing I still needed to get my drums from the night club, I drove off.

On the way home the fog had rolled in again. It was just an eerie feeling, driving through the fog, which was so thick I couldn't get my bearings on where I was, and worrying about missing my exit. But I made it home okay. I was very exhausted, but glad that my hard earned money was not wasted on a traffic ticket. I was very fortunate.