saturday, december 23

bringing in the holiday cheer!

I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
---Thomas Edison

or some reason I get a little depressed over the holiday season, not so much from the stress of it all, but rather the interaction with family members and friends. Sometimes, we have to deal with people comparing and assessing. Well, this actually happens throughout the year, but for me it seems more prominent during the holidays.

sensory mood: anticipation music: take a guess cuisine: empanadas

Now I don't regret being a musician. It's just something that came naturally for me... music. But when my parents are telling me, why couldn't you have been like so-and-so... that really hurts. Couldn't they just be satisfied with me being a talented working musician, with a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids, and a decent home and a decent car?

Maybe not?

I hate it when people compare and assess, and then go criticizing you because you're NOT someone THEY expected you to be. I would just like to be accepted for who I am, along with all my faults and quirks.

But that's what bums me out sometimes during the holiday season when we all get together with family and friends. Sometimes people start to talking... about what car you drive, how much money you make, or what kind of job you have. I actually have a relative (won't mention any names) who bragged one Christmas about how much money he made that year, and then had the audacity to ask me how much I made, as if to compare and throw some emotional dagger into me. That sucks.

Anyway, I know that we are all supposed to feel the love during the holiday season, and reach out and be positive and caring to everyone, but sometimes it's impossible to get along with everyone. And THAT makes me sad. Because it's the time when we all should put down our differences and come together in harmony, rather than discord.

Well I'm telling you now that I'm going to try my best. I'll be a trouper and smile and be gracious. And it helps when I focus on the children. When they open their gifts and their eyes are beaming. It makes me feel good inside knowing there's some real joy in the children's hearts. It brings out the child within me. And that's what helps me get through the holidays now, when I can re-live my carefree childhood days through my children's eyes.

thursday, december 21

making career choices

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
would you stand up and walk out on me,
lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
and I'll try not to sing out of key.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I get high with a little help from my friends.
---John Lennon and Paul McCartney

eatles! Beatles! Beatles! I've been totally obsessed with The Beatles lately. And once again, I wish to thank Pat for his encouraging words and advice. I'm inspired more than ever now, and feeling the need to move in a new direction. Of course, the money situation is the all-pervading factor for me right now. I have a ton of debts that have accumulated in the past few years.

But I'm still in a quandry as to what I want to do at the beginning of next year. And I'm already working on my New Year's resolutions for the year 2001, and the decisions I make in the next week or two will set the stage for what direction I'll be taking career-wise.

sensory mood: brainstorming music: more beatles cuisine: baked chicken

Anyway, I'm still obsessing over The Beatles and playing the "1" CD in the SUV wherever we go. Now I got my youngest son singing along to the songs. It's great! Something I appreciated when I was a kid has been handed down to my children. Well, I have one son who's obsessed with The Beatles and another who's obsessed with Igor Stravinsky!

Woke up, fell out of bed,
dragged a comb across my head,
found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
and looking up I noticed I was late.
---John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I woke up late this morning and freaked out because I thought I would be late taking my son to his optometric appointment at noon. I made it but found out my wife had rescheduled the appointment for 3PM. Ugh, it was one of those days!

wednesday, december 20

i'm over-qualified?

y interview with the Program Manager for the Web Developer Certificate Program went well, perhaps TOO well. After reviewing my application and resume, and after discussing everything I knew about web design and development, she actually suggested it would be a waste of my time and money to take the course!

sensory mood: hopeful music: christmas carols cuisine: sesame chicken url: monster.com

I was a little perplexed by what she said, but I'm sure she was looking out for my best interests, and weighing the amount of money to pay for the class versus the knowledge I already know and didn't need to go over again in a classroom setting. But I mentioned that I needed the "certification" so that I could get a web design job. And with that she recommended I start looking for a job now. And we discussed Monster.com and she advised me to think about it for a while before making my decision to enroll. And I guess I WILL do that.

Anyway, what do you think? Should I take the course simply to get "certification"?

just some random notes

oday I attended a presentation for a web developer course I'm interested in taking. And although it looks like an excellent program, it's going to cost beaucoup bucks. So that means... student loan time.

sensory mood: ambitious music: stravinsky cuisine: szechuan url: webdeveloper.com

Okay, things aren't "ironed out" just yet. For one, I have an interview tomorrow with the school admissions person to see if I have the pre-requisites to even get into the program. It's a 6 week, labor intensive, hands-on, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday type of course. So, I'll virtually be missing in action once the classes begin in February 2001.

Wish me luck, folks. I hope everything works out. I have confidence I'll get in, but I'm worried about the financial part. And I'm studying the whole scenario of this decision just to make sure this will be a wise investment. So, pray for me.

Becky sent me a couple of nice postcards wishing me and my family the best during the holidays. Wow! All the way from FRANCE. I've posted both cards below because they are both really nice. Especially the Kandinsky painting. My wife and I love Kandinsky. Thank you, Becky.



If you get the chance, go visit Becky's baby's weblog. It is something I wish I had done when my two "babies" were newly born back in the late 80s, early 90s, before all of this world wide web stuff hit the mainstream!

Hey, it looks like Pat received a couple of his Christmas presents a little early. I think an 80 gigabyte firewire hard drive and a digital camcorder are super gifts. Geez! Technology...

And lucky Cyn is flying out to the UK soon, and taking that tunnel-thingy to France. "Au Revoir!" Take lots of digital pix.

Oh, you jetsetters! And Glenda just flew back from a funtastic weekend in Las Vegas. Now I'm envious.

Anyway, kiddies. It's very late, and I must "sleep in heavenly peace" for now.

monday, december 18

you too can become a saint

hristmas 2000 is fast approaching and will be over before you know it. Already, I'm thinking about all the things Christmas has meant to me over the years. And aside from the obvious religious significance, I've always thought that the spirit of Christmas was meant to convey a more universal message of love, hope and peace.

sensory mood: contemplative music: x-mas carols cuisine: chinese

Today I was thinking of the more saintly individuals the world has known. And Mother Teresa immediately came to mind. Winner of the nobel peace prize in 1979 for her tireless efforts towards world peace and helping the world's needy, she is one person who had dedicated her entire life to helping others. I searched for sites about Mother Teresa and found this well-designed site which is a memorial tribute to this saintly individual.

I guess we could all help others in our own way, perhaps through our work and our loved ones, but Mother Teresa is one of the rare few who has made the supreme sacrifice, that of dedicating an entire lifetime to helping others. And that I can only admire and aspire to, yet can not duplicate. But perhaps we all have that potential built within us.

"There is only one God and He is God to all;
therefore it is important that everyone is seen as
equal before God. I've always said we should help
a Hindu become a better Hindu, a Muslim become a
better Muslim, a Catholic become a better Catholic."
---Mother Teresa

And as we quickly head into the year 2001, I sincerely hope that we will all continue to strive for "peace unto earth" and "goodwill to all men".

As I read more about Mother Teresa, tears began to fill my eyes. In awe of the true stature of her greatness, I began to see how selfish my life seemed in comparison to hers. But there is an assurance in her own words that gives me great hope:

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."
---Mother Teresa

There is always a chance to start anew.

keeping a set of ideals

Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny.
---Carl Schurz

will admit that my artistic sense gets in the way with the realities of surviving in a real world. So, the above quote is a good lesson in regards to balancing ideals and realistic goals. I know I can find it useful because I need to focus on reality. The main thing is to keep that balance in life.

sensory mood: joyful music: beethoven's 7th cuisine: southern

Cyn told me in an email that I should keep looking up to the skies, and this is great advice for everyone. To keep that focus on nature, the great beyond, on the beauty of the universe. I suppose as long as my head isn't stuck in the clouds, and I have a clear perspective from the ground, then I'm okay.

Anyway, you can find more inspirational quotes here.

The gig at the Juke Joint with Shelle went well... in fact, it was great. She's a great blues singer and has no problems whatsoever with her talents. It was great to work with her again. and she's strong and confident. I worked with her steadily at Croce's Top Hat prior to joining Big Time Operator in December of 1996. Her style is bluesy and funky all at the same time. We got caught up on a lot of things and talked about "old times".

I was playing Beethoven's 7th Symphony on the way to the Shelle gig, and I had the music cranked up pretty loud. For some reason classical music gets me pumped up to perform. It's just inspiring. There's a lot to admire about Beethoven's music, and there's a lot to admire about Beethoven the man and his victory over the obstacles in his life.

sunday, december 17

remembering beethoven

eethoven's birthday was Saturday, December 16th. I didn't forget, and I played Beethoven's Fifth while on the road. And I think I'll leave it in the CD player for a while longer. I've also been playing some of my Christmas CDs in the CD Changer at home, setting it to RANDOM.

sensory next gig: juke joint music: beethoven cuisine: szechuan online: amazon.com

Tonight I'm doing a gig with blues singer Shelle down at the Juke Joint. If you're going to be down at the Gaslamp Quarter tonight, be sure to drop by. Shelle just emailed me out of the blue and said she needed a drummer for tonight, which sure helps me out financially since I've spent far too much in Christmas presents already.

perseverence in the digital age

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there's love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
---Ella Fitzgerald

he above quote by Ella Fitzgerald really means a lot to me. I may have posted this before but I wanted to make sure it's visible again so that I can stay inspired amidst the ongoing struggles in my daily life.

sensory dvd: scary movie, shaft music: beethoven's fifth cuisine: pizza

I wanted to once again send a thank you to Pat, Cyn, and Kaycee for pretty much telling me to hold on to my dreams and don't let go. That means a lot to me and I still remember. This kind of support goes a long way.

Well, the gig last night at Valentino's was a lot more satisfying than usual. The audience was very attentive and actually applauded. The tip jar was also overflowing and everyone in the band did a great job. It's a good feeling when you have a great night on stage. It makes up for all the times when there's been a tough crowd. And for some reason this Valentino's gig has been rough. I blame it on the situation and the room acoustics.

After the gig I went home and my wife and I ate pizza and watched a couple of movies. "Scary Movie" didn't do anything for me. It had some hilarious moments, but I thought most of it was just plain silly and dumb. I liked "Shaft", but then again I'm a sucker for those action flicks. And I thought Samuel L. Jackson was great as Shaft.

One of the waiters at Valentino's saw "Vertical Limit" which is currently playing in the theaters. Darn, I'd been meaning to see that as I sort of dig mountain climbing movies, but he said the digital effects were so farfetched and didn't "hold water". Oh well. I'm still waiting for that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon movie to come out. Now that one should be awesome.