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friday, december 15
we all live in a yellow submarine
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
---Elizabeth KŸbler-Ross
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dvd: nutty professor II
music: the beatles - 1
food: filipino cuisine
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While driving all around town doing the Christmas shopping and other errands, my family and I
have been listening to The Beatles "1" CD.
Well, my older son loves classical music (good for
him) but hates The Beatles. My younger son, on the other hand, loves them and his favorites are "She
Loves You (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)", "Hello, Good-bye", and "Yellow Submarine".
What a silly song The Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" is. While seemingly simplistic and trivial,
it's a rather ingenious, extremely catchy melody. And it's no mystery why the song was number one
on the charts for 4 straight weeks! It's definitely got "a hook".
And now my younger son can't seem to get the tune out of his head and sings it
wherever he goes.
I'm sure we've all experienced having a certain melody swirling around in
our heads all day. Funny how music affects us in oh-so-subtle ways. It's
definitely the universal language of mankind.
1:23 PM
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thursday, december 14
yuletide ebb and flow
feeling: run down
wondering: about tolerance levels
realizing: i need to drink more fluids
I had my teeth cleaned for the first time in about 2 years. Gawd I dread going to the dentist!
But this time my youngest son and I went to a new dentist in Rancho Bernardo. He's Vietnamese and he's
young, progessive and a very nice guy. He made it very easy for me and I think I'll go to him from
now on.
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"I have to admit. There's nothing like the feel of newly cleaned teeth."
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So, now I'm happy that my teeth are squeaky clean, newly polished and a lot whiter than before. I have
to admit. There's nothing like the feel of newly cleaned teeth. It's a good feeling. Now I think I'll
make regular visits every 6 months.
After the dentist we went to Target to buy a few things. We ended up buying most of our Christmas
presents there. After hitting Starbucks and a few other places, we finally got all of our Christmas
shopping done! And there was hardly anyone in the stores at around 5PM, so I think we missed the
onslaught of shoppers coming after rush hour. Yeah!
Tonight we also saw my oldest son sing with his choir at his school Christmas Concert. They did a
good job. We were proud of him. The place was sort of hectic and the auditorium was packed!
After the school concert we went to Starbucks again and the local supermarket to buy groceries and
some Christmas candies and treats. Yeah, might as well spend some more while we're at it. It makes me
very uncomfortable going on these rampage spending sprees, but I guess it's the holiday season.
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"After hitting Starbucks and a few other places, we finally got all of our Christmas
shopping done!"
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I'm a little jealous of my sister-in-law from Santa Barbara. They're in Hawaii right now, and they'll
be spending Christmas there, and from there they go to the Philippines for a few more weeks. Hmmm... how nice, and different. Well, someday... when I'm old and
gray?
My wife won this contest at work the other day. And the prize was all these Christmas ornaments and
decorations... garland, a beautiful wreath, Christmas tree ornaments, etc. So, last night we spent
some time putting all that stuff up in our house. So, with our nice Christmas tree with the lighted
star, we are all set. We added some Poinsettia flowers too.
We haven't been turning on our Christmas lights, however. With the possibilities of blackouts in our
area, we've been turning them on an hour each night, just trying to do our part in regards to the
latest energy crisis.
11:52 PM
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have yourself a merry little christmas
feeling: a bit melancholy
wondering: about the gift of giving
realizing: i need to forget my troubles for now
I've been focusing on the Christmas Carols... really focusing on the words and their meaning. Here I am at almost 3 o'clock in the morning, awaken from my gentle slumber, unable to immediately fall asleep, and playing christmas songs! It's nice... really. Something different from the usual routine. But I need to get some rest.
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All I want for christmas is to feel the love and the joy that humanity can bring this time of year.
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And here I am thinking about the lyrics to "Silent Night"! I have to admit that at this time of the night "all is calm, all is bright".
But I need to "sleep in heavenly peace", that's for sure. In a little while, I guess. For now I feel like writing you, my readers.
Okay, I'm actually listening to a very young Barbra Streisand singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" and I'm like in tears... this jewish girl can really SING the Christmas songs!
Let me post the lyrics because I'm really focusing on their meaning right now, and I'm touched... I never really paid much attention to the lyrics until now, this late at night. I'm feeling very emotional right now over this song, so bear with me:
Have yourself a merry little christmas,
let your heart be light,
from now on our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little christmas,
make the yuletide gay,
from now on our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore,
faithful friends who are dear to us,
gather near to us once more.
Through the years we all will be together,
if the fates allow,
hang a shining star upon the highest bow,
and have yourself a merry little christmas now.
And with that, I think I will have myself a "merry little christmas" this year... make an effort to really feel the christmas spirit... and not the commercial version of it.
I lit one of those religious candles yesterday, and I prayed and meditated for the people who are in need right now... those who are troubled and need guidance... that they may find peace and resolve in life. I made that promise and I will continue to keep it throughout the holiday season.
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I lit one of those religious candles yesterday, and I prayed and meditated for the people who are in need right now...
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Older women in my culture would have small altars with religious candles of angels, the Lord Jesus, the Virgin Mary... and praying with their rosaries. As a kid I used to find it unbearable to participate. But nowadays I see the importance and why the older women always did this.
One christmas when I was small, me and my siblings received meager trinkets in a stocking, and that was it. Our family was quite poor back then, but I'm thankful we have seen better times since. I'm glad we aren't living out on the street or something.
I don't care if I never receive a single present this year. I really don't care about the material things. As a matter of fact I will call my whole family and tell them not to worry about it.
I'm cool...
All I want for christmas is to feel the love and the joy that humanity can bring this time of year. Maybe a simple note that someone is thinking of me. That would be much better than anything of material value.
Well, now I must get to bed... "golden slumbers".
2:55 AM
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wednesday, december 13
the long and winding road
I finally listened to The Beatles "1" CD all the way through, then I listened to it again. The songs are in chronological order starting with their first number one hit, "Love Me Do" and ending with their last, "The Long And Winding Road".
"The Long And Winding Road" has got to be one of the greatest songs ever written:
The long and winding road
that leads to your door
Will never disappear,
I've seen that road before,
It always leads me here,
leads me to your door.
The wild and windy night
that the rain washed away,
Has left a pool of tears
crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here,
let me know the way.
Many times I've been alone
and many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
the many ways I've tried,
But still they lead me back
to the long and winding road,
You left me standing here
a long, long time ago.
Don't leave me waiting here,
lead me to you door.
---John Lennon/Paul McCartney
10:00 AM
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the capacity to heal
I wish I had the ultimate power to heal, and finally extinguish all the ailments and diseases of the world. Sometimes I feel that I might have that capacity to heal. It might be within all of us.
We've heard isolated stories of people doing superhuman feats, like the mother who lifts a car to free her child who is trapped underneath. And other stories of people doing remarkable things under pressure because of the adrenaline, or maybe because of forces unseen.
Yogis from India have been known to do amazing things because of their ability to discipline their mind, body and spirit through the power of meditation, through yogic practice.
"Visualize world peace."
I believe in visualization as a power to heal. Olympic athletes have done this with the goal of winning gold medals. Why not use this technique with the goal of "healing" another person?
Athletes who have been required to be superhuman in order to break world records go through some ritual of visualization. It's simply a technique to help one's mind, body and spirit "focus" on ONE goal.
I will do that today. I promise.
I will light a candle and meditate, pray and vizualize that my fellow cyber-friends who are ill can heal and somehow become whole again.
9:00 AM
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the beatles on the silver screen
I believe it was the Spring of 1965. My older teenage cousins, both girls, convinced my parents to allow them to take me to the movies. The movie was "Help!" starring The Beatles.
I remember sitting quietly... patiently waiting for the movie to start, and my cousins telling me... "Okay, when the movie comes on, START SCREAMING!!!" And that's how I remember seeing "Help!" for the first time... in a crowded theatre full of mostly teenage girls, SCREAMING their lungs out!
At first I felt out of place, but as I got into the movie I felt much better. I actually came out of the theatre admiring The Beatles even more, and was thankful my girl cousins took me.
1:45 AM
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i believe in yesterday
I guess I've been dwelling in the past lately, focusing on nostalgia.
So, I went ahead and bought The Beatles "1" album, the new CD that has their twenty-seven #1 hits. When the song "Yesterday" came on, it sort of hit me square in the jaw. I've been reminiscing about the PAST way too much. And lately, nostalgia has been an obsession with me. I need to focus on the "here and now", and on the future.
Well, the song "Yesterday" pretty much sums up my current state of mind:
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Do I really feel this way right now? Is it just my imagination? Or am I really "in over my head"? I don't really know one way or the other.
I just wish I knew, that's all... where's the hope I had just a few days ago? And now I find myself reminiscing of childhood lullabyes...
Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullabye
Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullabye
1:13 AM
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on the emotional fringe
It was such a rough day for me yesterday. I felt like pounding my head against a wall. Well, no one expects that from me, and even I don't expect that from myself. But that was how I honestly felt.
I know that Christmas is suppose to be a time of giving and caring, and getting into the spirit of things, but sometimes financial burdens make it hard.
I know, I know...
It's "karma"!!! You reap what you sow. Okay, and hindsight is 20/20 vision as well. I also get what I deserve. And my parents' favorite: See, I told you so!
Anyway, I hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or something like that. Well, I also know that things could be worse. Actually, things could get worse... but I have to keep a positive attitude.
Yes, things could be worse, and I have to believe in myself and the fact that things can get better than they are now.
REALITY: Life sucks right now!
GOAL: Stop it from sucking!
FOCUS: Accentuate the positive!
[ Okay, I've vented and feel much better... ]
12:45 AM
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monday, december 11
a music hero is remembered
All you need is love, love,
love is all you need.
---John Lennon/Paul McCartney
There's something about the above lyrics by The Beatles that strike a chord with me. That after achieving what most of us only dream of achieving... fame and fortune, it all comes down to... LOVE.
I'd been playing Beatles CD's all weekend, paying my respects to John Lennon, who was tragically and senselessly gunned down 20 years ago on December 8th, 1980.
There's no denying how he inspired and influenced a whole generation of people in one way or another. Musically, he's one of my heroes, and I don't say this lightly.
My family was one of the millions who saw The Beatles perform on The Ed Sullivan Show back in 1964. And although I was just a kid, I somehow knew an historic event was happening at that moment. And it made a long lasting impression on me. I remember a typical 1960's family gathered around our old black and white TV, watching the Fab Four for the first time ever. And later, us siblings faithfully singing to the songs to the "Meet The Beatles" record our Dad bought us.
I memorized every song on that album. I studied Ringo's drumbeats, and repeatedly listened to his drum fills on "Not A Second Time". At the tender age of 6 my world revolved around my Dad's old Motorola stereo playing The Beatles, which I seemed to use more than he did! My Dad eventually let me have his old Motorola stereo and bought a more high-end model for himself.
I assume that most people my age grew up on The Beatles. And I remember people reacting both negatively and positively toward their music later. But no one can deny the major influence they had on pop and rock music. John Lennon and Paul McCartney will go down in history as one of the greatest songwriting teams of the 20th Century, if not the greatest.
My wife's most favorite Beatles song is "Let It Be". I can't say I have a favorite. I love most of their songs. But I also love "Let It Be" It sort of signaled the final acceptance of The Beatles breakup. But I believe it also emerged as a song of hope:
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
she is standing right in front of me
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And now The Beatles new CD with all their number one hits has climbed to the number one position on Billboard Magazine. That tells us how much their music has withstood the tests of time.
The music definitely hasn't lost its appeal. At the very least, the Beatles' music has a personal, nostalgic importance to me. But growing up to the music when I was a kid while listening to it in my old transister radio was a revelation embedded in time.
9:59 AM
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