|
thursday, november 30
the birth of our first son
My wife woke me up at around seven in the morning on September 14, 1988, on the day our first child was born. Right away I moved into position and began coaching her with all the Lamaze techniques we learned in class. She just knew this was it, that she was experiencing real labor for the first time.
We had a false alarm one week prior, and had gone to the hospital but was told it wasn't the real deal, just false labor contractions. So here we were on that September morning, my wife about to give birth to our first child!
I remember arriving at the hospital at around 8AM. Everything was a blur, and it all went so quickly! I couldn't believe how fast the time went. My wife had a super fast labor, and I remember keeping her focused on her breathing. Being a drummer I thought I was at an advantage with the rhythmical breathing. She needed a focal point, and I just looked into her eyes and she looked into mine, and that was enough.
I also remember setting up the tripod and camcorder, and once the doctor arrived and took over, things even more smoothly and quickly. Then it was time for her to push, and I watched and videotaped the actual birth of our first son. And Cameron was born at 9:50AM, a very fast labor!
I spent most of the day at the hospital with mother and child, savoring the moments of being a father for the first time in my life. A guy simply has no clue what it's all about to be a father until the moment when the baby pops out. It's truly amazing!
Anyway, the funniest part of the day was when I finally got home after spending the whole day at the hospital, after doing my best efforts at lamaze coaching, after witnessing the actual birth of our son.
When I finally got home at around 5PM, the last thing I remember was closing the front door. And the next thing I knew, I woke up laying face down, sprawled out on the carpet of our living room just beyond the tiled entry way!!! I had literally CRASHED on the floor from exhaustion, and had been sound asleep until around 7:30PM at night, 2 1/2 hours later! I guess the whole event had caught up with me "big time" and I badly need the rest. The thing that gets me is that I don't remember hitting the carpet!
That was 12 years ago, and I still feel weird about being a Dad sometimes. I kind of look at my two boys like they are little adults. We talk as if we're best friends, instead of the Father and Son relationship thing. I'm definitely not a strict authoritarian like my Dad was, and I don't go around spanking and scolding them, at least not like a Dad should, I guess. Well, they're more like my "buds". Maybe I'm too lenient with them. But I'm glad I feel I treat them like people, instead of like subordinates.
Being a parent... that's a whole different ball game. If you don't have kids of your own, you just don't know until you have children of your own. I mean, it's easy to imagine or visualize, but the minute you actually become a parent, then the realization hits you, and there's no feeling like it in the world... it's GREAT!
The trials and tribulations of parenthood. My wife and I have been through a lot in 12 years. But I don't regret one minute of it!
11:04 PM
~
it's a wonderful life
"When a person in this world thinks of nothing but his
own life and his own desires, then his life is unimportant
to others. On the other hand, if he uses his life to do good
for all, then he will make himself indispensable to the
world."
My wife can't stand the movie, "It's A Wonderful Life", the American movie classic with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.
I personally love it.
I think it has a universal message that says "we ALL are important" to our friends and loved ones. And that we influence people around us, more so than we think. This is important to realize, especially during the holiday season. I know a lot of us can get depressed and all during the holidays, myself included. But I try to focus on that "goodwill toward men" thing. It helps me get through, thinking less of myself and more toward my fellow human beings.
The movie shows up every Christmas on TV, and I always try to catch it and watch it alone, by myself. It seems no one else likes this movie but me.
I think my wife said that she simply can't stand Jimmy Stewart, and that the movie is pretty "cheesy". Okay, fine. But if you get passed all that and look at the universal message it brings, it's not a bad movie at all.
And it can't be all that cheesy either. Lord knows we need more goodwill in this world. With all the deceit, crime, bigotry, hate, prejudice in the world, it's still a nice place to live.
9:33 AM
~
wednesday, november 29
Speaking of being the total realist, here's a photo of my youngest son at 1 year of age. Notice the bib that says, "Spit Happens"? Well, that says it all, doesn't it?
Anyway, I was able to get a bass player for this coming Friday night, so I'm totally and utterly relieved, after making and receiving phone calls all day.
This is how desperate I was: I even called bass players at the clubs and caught them just before they were to go on stage! I called the Catamaran Resort Hotel and was able to reach the bar's phone, and caught this one bass player before he was going to go on. And that's how I got this one bass player to do the gig.
My wife gave me a high five. Yes, I have to admit. That's a slick way of getting in touch with a musician, and bypass the "phone tag" dilemma... and now I can rest easy. Well, at least for the time being, at least until the next dilemma comes along.
Well, it already has...
I've been asked to appear on a Christmas radio show, on the local KPOP station 1360AM. Those kinds of things make me a bit nervous... radio interviews. But I guess I should get used to it and look at the opportunity. Well, we'll see... wish me luck.
9:34 PM
~
Okay fate, let's duke it out!!!
"Our life is full of illness. The disharmony of our bodies
is an illness, family quarrels is another, and social
turmoil is a third."
---Venerable Master Cheng Yen
Hmm... I'm reading the above quote and really feeling like the total realist. No dreamer here, jack!
Well, all I can say to anyone who bails out on a gig a few days before, and leaving me high and dry to fend for my own, is a total "putz"... "damn him" for putting me in a bind. Seriously, this sucks, and he doesn't give himself much integrity, either!
That'll be the last time I hire this guy! I don't care how good he is... I need to find someone dependable, and who can give me his word that he'll be there. There's not much "faith" in my fellow man lately. Sorry folks for the negativity.
On a positive note: I got around to putting up Christmas lights yesterday. We have a white gazebo in our backyard, and I decked it out with both white and colorful lights. Our backyard is high on a hill, so it's a nice view of the Christmas lights from down below, better than from our front yard.
I'm proud of my oldest son. He brought home his report card and he had all A's except for one B.
On Monday I volunteered to help drive my younger son's class to the San Diego Natural History Museum for a special class about American Indian culture. Little did I know that the parents who volunteered would do a little teaching as well. Well, I usually get shy and awkward in situations like that, even amongst 3rd graders. But I got through it, even though I felt I was on the spot.
I'm sort of addicted to Caesar III. I suppose if you're put in a position where you have complete control of a Roman province around 200 B.C., it can be a bit of an "ego massager", especially when one is feeling down.
I need to somehow feel better. I'm really in a disgusted mood right now.
*#@$*(%)$)$
There now, that feels better!
7:35 PM
~
tuesday, november 28
Pat, my friend! I envy you. Traipsing off to New Orleans for yet another trade show, and taking in the sights, the food, the music, the ambience. And thanks for the compliment, man! (emailing me and telling me I'm better than the drummers he's seen there. And maybe I should move there) Well, that's something to ponder over... It sure makes me feel better for my situation.
And Pat: my wife ran into my former bandleader and his wife at a shopping mall (UTC) when she was doing volunteer work last week! She told me he looked real guilty... I can imagine...
10:41 PM
~
the dreamer versus the realist
feeling: a bit depressed
wondering: about my music career
realizing: that prayer is always an option
"When life is easy, people tend to lose themselves. It is
therefore good luck when we occasionally face setbacks
and frustrations, for they wake up our consciences and
help us grow."
---Master Cheng Yen
The long Thanksgiving weekend is over, and everyone is looking forward to Christmas and New Year's, and of course Hannukah for all you Jewish brothers and sisters.
On Thanksgiving Day we had a nice family get-together at our house in Scripps Ranch. I cleaned the hell out of my house and it looked nice and immaculate. A tip for you people. Never have pure white tiles for flooring. They are the biggest pain to keep clean... very high maintainance. And so is very light mint green carpeting. It matches the whole color scheme of the house but if I could do it all over again I'd have put wood flooring in 10 years ago when we first moved in. And of course, just have nice Persian carpets for area rugs.
Well, this coming Christmas 2000, it will be exactly 10 years since we first moved into our house in Scripps Ranch. It's been great, but it's been a struggle too. Mainly a financial one. But here we are, 10 years later, and we're still here.
Prior to living in Scripps Ranch we owned a house in Mission Village, 1 mile up the hill from Qualcomm Stadium. I kind of miss the old house, and old IT was. It was a 1958 fixer-upper and we bought the place when I was 25 years old! We lived there for 5 years.
Anyway, one of my sisters-in-law was "blown away" by one of my much younger pictures. And it was as if she was making a big deal out of it. I was flattered, but I then realized how old I REALLY am. It made me a little depressed, and this can be bad, especially during the holiday season. Yes, go ahead and laugh at the old geezer. Someday you'll be my age.
I guess we must all put things in perspective with what we've got. I am thankful for what I have. But like anyone, it seems life is plagued with one problem or another. It's a realistic point of view. And sometimes I'm the dreamer, thinking too positively, to the point where everything is "peachy keen", but it isn't. In reality, life is a constant battle... an ongoing struggle to maintain equilibrium in an ever-changing world. My wife's more of a realist and I admire her qualities.
I also had gigs at Valentino's, which were fun for me.
I need to get some better gigs. Our poor singer was really having a hard time this past weekend. I guess he really didn't look very confident up on stage. One can't do that! One has to always appear confident on stage, even if you're totally blowing it. Well, even then people will know. The stage is like being under the microscope. And I feel that a performer, musician, actor, whoever... has to show complete confidence or else it won't pan out. Simply put, people know when you're good, and they sure as hell know when your bad. It's a tough life for the performer. But even when you're successful there are the critics. The bottom line is to really enjoy what you do, and then that positive vibe will carry through. I remember Cyn telling me (via email) that she admired anyone who had the balls to get up on stage. Hmm... that's food for thought.
And as if the frustrations of a bandleader/musician aren't enough? My bassist says he can't get out of the "Forever Plaid" show because they're re-opening it downtown. So, now I have a few days to search yet again for a bass player who can just walk in and do the gig. Okay, if you're in San Diego, check out Forever Plaid, the longest running musical in San Diego history. Or you can check out my band at the Juke Joint Cafe this coming Friday, as we sweat it out on stage with a SUB bass player!
Yes, folks. The world is continually changing. But not only is our current situations changing. We are changing... our bodies, our perceptions, our hopes and dreams.
It's funny how life is sometimes... and we'd like to have more control, more options... sometimes we just have to deal with whatever cards we have...
8:30 PM
~
monday, november 27
Boy, it was a very busy weekend for me.
A lot had happened. It's just too bad that I couldn't find the time to recap the events that took place. But I will... so stay tuned. I'm sure you've all had busy Thanksgiving trips and events as well.
And yes, I saw that "GRINCH" movie... and liked it VERY much. One of the few movies where the audience actually applauded the movie at the end. That's something I haven't seen in a long time.
Well, it's easy getting suckered into a story that you grew up watching on TV every Christmas season.
And now... here comes Christmas!
10:43 PM
~
go to the archives
|
|
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
|
)
