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saturday, october 28
newly purchased drum stuff
1 pair of regal tip jazz drumsticks
1 pair of regal tip rock drumsticks
1 pair of vic firth jazz brushes
1 13" remo ambasador snare head
1 10" remo pinstriped clear head
1 14" remo pinstriped clear head
1:33 AM
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friday, october 27
Yep, Kaycee, that fella who emailed you is a "Dagwood" all right! *smirk* Don't worry 'bout him... I have the feeling he's lonely and not loved, and is (in his own twisted way) reaching out for attention. I almost feel sorry for him. But you, you're a warrior... you've got that warrior spirit... And you are much loved. *smile*
4:49 PM
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This is an awesome site. [ link via cami ]
3:23 PM
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Here's a heartfelt message from the big white guy himself in Hong Kong. He speaks lovingly of his adopted kid sister, Kaycee, and her mother, Debbie. Very touching.
3:10 PM
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"I remember wispy, cirrus clouds cascading up into the blue azure skies, during much of my childhood days".
[ from more scenes from childhood ]
12:10 PM
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we didn't start the weblogs
Here's a cool parody of a song, sung to the music of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire"... here's We Didn't Start The Weblogs. [ link via heather ]
9:58 AM
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i'm just a soccer dad at heart
My twelve year old son's soccer team won a great game last night, and I'd say this was the best comeback game I'd seen in quite a while.
They were up against a much talked about team from Poway. And the whole Poway league has a reputation for being very tough to beat. They looked bigger and taller, and they had better uniforms. I wondered if they were taking steroids!
My son usually plays better on defense, or as a support guy who passes the ball to the guys who score the points. And he's had some good moments on the soccer field.
This was the first time my son's team played an "away" game as visitor to the Poway team. Our Scripps Ranch soccer community is also a very strong one, so we have a reputation of our own too.
Anyway, the game started out with the Poway team (The Green Lasers) coming out strong and scoring two unanswered points in the first half! My son's team (The Charbroiled Chalupas) didn't play all that bad in the first half and had a couple of opportunities to score but somehow missed both.
Toward the end of the first half, Chris, a Korean kid with the Chalupas somehow had a good run downfield, faking out a lot of his opponents as he dribbled the ball for quite a distance before passing to one of his own. It was another missed opportunity for the Chalupas. But the momentum somehow changed. The Chalupas were really beginning to look good on the field! And then the first half ended.
But, something happened at the start of the second half.
The Chalupas were now "fired up"!!! In the first 15 minutes they scored two points, tying the game at 2-2. They were playing a lot more aggressively this time, so eventually the ball would go into the goal.
Then we really started to feel the tension as the Lasers atempted to "pour it on" but ended up with a couple of missed opportunities of their own.
This was the turning point in the game, I thought.
And we could feel it in our team. That's when the teamwork came into play as the Chalupas scored another point by passing the ball back and forth, making it 3-2. They realized this system worked well and quickly scored another point, making the score 4-2!!!
I think that's when the Lasers ran out of steam. To have an opponent come from behind like that and take the lead from 0-2 to 4-2 (4 unanswered points!)... that's enough to stop the momentum. And so the Chalupas were up 4-2 with the end of the second half coming to a close.
Now there's another kid on my son's team named Bart. And he is a very promising young player. He's really good at dribbling the ball downfield and faking everyone out. But in most every game, he'd dribble the ball all the way downfield but somehow would come up short and miss the goal! But now it looked like the Chalupas were getting ready for a final drive against the now exhausted Lasers. And this time Bart would make the connection! He dribbled the ball from the backfield and kept it going, dodging and faking, stopping the ball and then going around an opponent. And finally, just before the goal, he faked out the last opponent, going around him before kicking the ball into the goal passed the Lasers' goalee with lightning speed. This was the icing on the cake! The Chalupas really played their best game so far.
The final score: 5-2 The Charbroiled Chalupas win the game!!!! GO TEAM!!!!
12:12 AM
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thursday, october 26
wallpaper for your computer
Here's some nice wallpaper... Actually, these are beautiful nature photos that can be added to your desktop. Cyn, you could use one of these on your new 19" flat monitor. [ link via zannah ]
6:34 PM
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Pat is the first to chime in about my first grade "horror" story. Thanks for the nice thoughts. Yes, considering some of the things I've been through, I somehow came out okay.
2:08 PM
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feeling: sadness
wondering: what tomorrow will bring
realizing: i am a wave in the ocean
"Take disputes with others as an education. You can then turn undesirable events into instruments for reorganizing yourself. don't take different viewpoints as disputes, for it will make your life miserable. In essence, all the minor incidents in life are living sutras."
---Venerable Master Cheng Yen
not allowed to speak
When I was in the first grade, I used to eat my lunch in a designated lunch area between two buildings at my elementary school, and it was usually crowded and noisy with the excitement that elementary school children typically have at that age.
One day as I quietly ate my lunch, a few of my fellow classmates wanted to talk to me, and as I responded to them I suddenly found myself being scolded by this black lady who was the supervising teacher.
She told me that I wasn't supposed to talk, that I was to eat my lunch and keep quiet.
Now, what I couldn't quite understand was that every other kid in the lunch area was talking, laughing and giggling, and causing a ruckus. Why was I the only kid not allowed to speak? But she repeated it again, saying that I wasn't supposed to talk, to keep quiet and eat my lunch. All the while being coaxed by the other kids to speak.
Well, I DID keep quiet and ate my lunch. Meanwhile, kids all around me were asking me questions, saying things to try to get me to speak. And being just a first grader, naturally if someone were speaking to me, naturally as in any conversation, I would respond...
But once again, this very same teacher was back to reprimand me for talking. And that's when I began to scratch my head in utter confusion. For all around me, kids were talking and laughing, even screaming. Now why was I singled out in a large group of kids and told to keep quiet while everyone else around me were not? It just didn't seem to make any sense at all.
So, I kept quiet for a second time, and the cycle repeated itself and sort of became this vicious game that the other children around me played at my expense.
*Let's try to get little Carlos to talk and see if he gets in trouble again with the teacher*
And sure enough, it got so bad that I had to respond to the other kids to stop them from teasing me. And that's when the teacher again came over, this time dragging me forcefully by the arm and putting me into a corner! And there I ate my lunch for the remainder of the lunch break!
I sat there quietly, utterly embarrasssed, as the other children around me laughed and giggled as I sat in the corner. And there was the teacher, glaring at me in disgust, just waiting for another word to pop out of my mouth, while the other kids continued to tease me, trying to get me to talk. And the whole time wondering why the other children didn't get in trouble!
I look back at this incident as one of those bitter moments in my life when I still wondered what had happened that day. Why did this happen? And how could I have prevented it? I was taught early in life to obey my parents and to respect school teachers. So why was this teacher so cruel and unfair to me? I guess I'll never know. But I know that the incident messed me up psychologically. I was so embarrassed to bring it up to my parents, and thought there was something wrong with me. And being a first grader at the time, I was very innocent to the ways people could be vicious and cruel to others. If I could go back in time I would return to that moment and fix it, maybe respond differently and wisely, instead of succumbing to it.
But, I was just a kid back then who didn't know any better. And sadly enough, that was the injustice done to me. I can't do anything about it now. I can't erase it from my memory, it's there, a part of my life's experiences. But many times in my mind I imagine myself going back to that moment in time and telling that lady to go fuck herself and to burn in hell! It's not the nicest thing to say, but I think at this point in time I'd say she well deserved it.
10:21 AM
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wednesday, october 25
the fojm project
I was pleasantly surprised to find in my mailbox a curiously thick brown colored envelope. When I opened it I found The Mirror Project postcards from Heather of harrumph.com and jezebel.com. Thanks so much Heather for sending these! They're cool!
And a little note from Heather:
Carlos, here you go! H. And the caption read: Don't let the name fool you, baby! It's all about love.
9:54 PM
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most recent google search query
The latest search engine query found in my stats brought up the following search words:
MARRIAGE+INSPIRATIONAL+QUOTES
Hmmm... good, clean fun here on THIS site. No search words for porn or sex yet.
9:12 PM
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Pat mentioned that he had a missed opportunity to take this gorgeous sky photo worthy of being on my sky photos page. Well, cheer up, Pat! I've missed many great shots because I didn't have the camera with me. But the thing about sky photos... there will always be more opportunities ahead! Just keep looking up at the sky...
11:50 AM
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tuesday, october 24
feeling: the ways of the force
wondering: about yin and yang
realizing: there is a need for balance
"Your days will be peaceful if you do not worry about
gains or losses in life."
---Master Cheng Yen
Jessica signed my guestbook recently and said, "Especially liked October 20th: life begins today!".
We typically perceive the days as blending together, sometimes feeling as though we struggle from one day to the next. But we should try to begin each day anew, wiping the slate clean and starting with a fresh, new outlook.
11:54 PM
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The most recent additions to Rice Bowl Journals: Julie, gg, Bleak Lee, Abigail, and Mike Lee.
1:59 PM
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October is Breast Cancer awareness month. If you go to Yahoo! Health and click on the pink ribbon, Yahoo will donate $1.00 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. [ link via Caterina ]
2:43 AM
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Tapestry
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
an everlasting vision of the everchanging view
a wonderous woven magic, in bits of blue and gold
a tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold.
---Carole King
2:25 AM
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monday, october 23
feeling: a sense of awe
wondering: about my career in music
realizing: perseverence is the key
"Persistence breaks through all difficulties and obstacles,
like dripping water that can wear away a stone."
---Master Cheng Yen
This past Saturday the band performed at Tony P's in Marina Del Rey, just north of LAX and south of Santa Monica. So, we traveled the two and a half hours to L.A. from San Diego to get to this gig.
It just seemed like one of those nights where things didn't seem to quite go our way. It rained hard on the way up, and because of the rain we were stuck in some gnarly traffic up to Oceanside.
When we arrived at our final destination, we checked out the bar area where we were to perform. The first game of the World Series was still going on and people were going crazy. Right away I thought to myself, "There's no way we're going to compete against the World Series!", not with all those baseball fans there. I know from experience that this is a tough act to follow.
Anyway, the game went extra innings and didn't seem to want to end! It was quite exciting to watch, actually. I almost forgot we were supposed to perform later. *See what I mean?*
After the game ended everyone was cheering as they were quickly heading out the door. Who was left? The hardcore swing dancers had emerged! It wasn't a full house, but it was a decent following and the floor was sort of crowded.
Then I noticed this attractive couple on the dance floor, an interracial couple... a tall, good looking black guy with his very beautiful, well contoured white woman, with nice long brunette hair and a very short dress. They were obviously great dancers. I wondered if they danced professionally. And they were dancing very erotically... I have to admit, I was getting turned on... and being the drummer, watching them groove along to the band and the beat... it was rather exciting. Then he began sliding her, making use of the slippery wood floor, and I said to myself, "Whoa!!!" He'd do this little routine where he pushed his hands against hers, and he pushed her backwards and she slid several feet. I was thinking, "is this cool or what?" And it looked like she was having fun with that move. I felt like a voyeur, it was erotic. "Who was entertaining who?", I thought.
"Love does not make demands on others. Love gives of
itself and offers without conditions."
---Master Cheng Yen
We ended up performing only an hour and a half because of the late start. At the end we did Sing, Sing, Sing and I got my traditional drum solo. I didn't really want to do it but the band seemed to insist and it turned out well, giving me a chance to "open up" and be creative.
Our guitarist, Matthew, had carpooled with me, and on the way home we got into the classical music I had in the CD player, Stravinsky's "Petrushka" and "The Rite Of Spring". Matthew holds a Bachelors and a Masters degree in Music, so we were getting into analyzing the compositions, getting into the music to pass the time away on the road home. It kept me awake, and we both agreed that after all was said and done, Igor Stravinsky was the composer who singlehandedly made the biggest impact out of all the 20th century composers, just as Beethoven did during the 19th century.
Anyway, I got home at around 3:30AM, and Matthew still needed to transfer his stuff to his car and go home. I noticed how clear the early morning sky was, the stars shining so brightly as I gazed up at the Orion constellation and the band of stars making up the Milky Way Galaxy. I've always enjoyed looking up at the stars after coming home from an out-of-town gig in the wee hours of the morning. It's when I appreciate life that much more... looking up into the cosmos and wondering what life would be like elsewhere in the universe.
I thought about how good it was to be alive, as I quietly stepped into my house to escape the cold, early morning air.
9:15 PM
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[ posting from the Scripps Ranch Library ]
So, here I am with my family, making another trip to the library. Usually we go on Mondays when it's open til 8PM. And usually, I don't borrow books, just surf the Web when I get an hour time slot. This is cool!
6:56 PM
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sunday, october 22
I'd been so busy this past weekend, and so I finally got around to checking out my favorite journals and blogs when I read that Kaycee was having more complications and a high fever...
But this morning she seemed to be doing better. I saw the big sunflower photo on her site, which is very beautiful and definitely brings a ray of sunshine.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Kaycee this morning, and I do keep praying she will get better. I'll light a brand new candle for her.
7:42 PM
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