The Zen Warrior

Dark Angel sent me an email telling me that she is practicing ZaZen. And I liked what she said, that we should be Zen Warriors who walk a narrow path of strict discipline.

MASTER YUN-MEN SAYS:

Make medicine from suffering. All experiences are opportunities to cure us...

The true Zen hero is not a defensive fighter but a courageous lover of all.

The Borders Show photos have finally been posted at this location, courtesy of zing.com.

Driving Pictures

Courage and Innocence

Well, I'm feeling rather strange right now. I don't know whether to burst out crying, or just sit here and stare at the wall. Boy, this is a strange feeling. I know I'll get over it, but right now it's pretty rough going.

Maybe I'm feeling how mortal I am. I was worried earlier about my father-in-law and the pain he was going through after his prostate surgery. And I imagine myself in his shoes several years from now, imagining the same pain.

I remember the last time I went into a depression and was writing in my old online journal. During that time I received a very disturbing email from the lead singer in my former band. He read my online journal and decided to tell me how much of a kook I was, and that I should seek professional help.

That kind of spelled out my situation in that band, and as much as I'd like to think that I could take that kind of abuse, in reality it DID hurt, even though I didn't really care what this guy thought.

So, I'd been seeking guidance in my little "Zen bible" today, and I came upon a chapter that made me aware of the attitude I should maintain in my dealings with the world:

MASTER SOYEN SHAKU advises:

Have the courage of a hero and the innocent, loving heart of a child. With these attitudes we can fearlessly meet the challenges of our life, yet not succumb to cynicism or defensiveness.

Then the chapter goes on about the true hero's strength lying in his compassion and openness, and not in his armor. And I found this saying very profound: The fearless hero is a loving child.

I think this saying has something to do with breaking down the armor that conceals and protects the inner compassionate heart, and to stand strong, yet vulnerable.

Insomniac Alert!

Cami sent me a little message a while back:

Are you still up? tsk tsk

Cloudy Skies

Cyn signed my guestbook with the following message:

hey carlos. just wanted to say *boo*. off to dallas this weekend. enjoy the cloudy skies! cyn

Okay, I admit to my love for cloud formations... and so I send "positive vibes" back to Cyn in the form of the following image below:

Smile! The World Changes

I couldn't sleep... the usual insomnia but it was the weekend anyway. So, I thought I would update "random excess" and do a bit of reading from my little "Zen bible".

Master Thich Nhat Hahn writes:

When you produce peace and happiness within yourself, you begin to realize peace for the whole world. The world will change because of your smile.

Before the gig at Valentino's yesterday, I met up with Pat and he treated me to dinner at Valentino's.

We talked about the usual stuff, family, friends, computers and the Web. He was thinking of setting up a real network at home to link up his family's 3 or 4 computers to the Web. And I was thinking of finally buying an iMac for my two boys and network at home too. Anyway, Pat is in town for business, and it was nice to hook up with the guy and talk. His 25th wedding anniversary is coming up, and my wife and I had just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary back in April. I think we both we're amazed at how time flies!

Anyway, I was a little upset at Valentino's last night because we were told to turn down! I'm already using brushes and to turn down the drums with brushes is TOTALLY ridiculous. But instead of throwing a temper tantrum I made an effort to SMILE even more, and it really worked for me! It's amazing how a smile will become contagious and carry on to the audience and the group.

Later on at the gig, the place suddenly became as crowded as last night! And there were several groups of people that came out to see Donnie sing, and these people again helped get the crowd going for the band. We actually got twenty dollars each in tips last night, one of the highest so far (I think twenty-five is the all-time high).

So, one of these older fans of Donnie's comes up to the stage and wants to sing! And we ended up backing him up while he sang "Mona Lisa", the Nat King Cole tune. He did pretty good, actually.

Anyway, you wouldn't know earlier how the evening would turn out, and I was kind of embarrassed when Pat watched us play that first set. I mean, it's not the Uptown Boys and it's just "standards", so it's nothing too exciting but I enjoy it just the same. But I am glad Pat came down to check it out.